Fighting for Death
by deathonmymind
Summary: Ana's view of life is very dark. She sees the world as cruel and unfair. Christian's life is boring the same thing over and over is enough to drive anyone insane. He's still living in the past. Can they see that they need each other in order to start living? or Will they cause each other to go deeper in their darkness?


Ana's POV

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror. I can't take the person staring back at me. I'm a hazard to myself. Its hard living with depression and anxiety. Specially when you have no idea what the cause of it is. I'm always frustrated and confused and pissed off cause I have no idea what lead me to being this. I just want the numb and sadness inside me to leave. My life is very simple I was born to Carla Wilks and Frank Lambert.

My dad die in a combat zone a month after I was born I never got to meet him. Mom married a bunch of times she's currently on husband number 6. Bob seems like a good guy and I hope mom stays with him. Non of the men she has dated liked me they saw me as the depressed little girl that cause too much trouble because I was mentally unwell. Since I can remember I was a sad young girl I just never saw the point in living everything is just worthless and boring. The world is just so cruel and unfair and there is so much pain it is hard to not notice it. I have attempted suicide 3 times and they were all failures. Waking up and seeing everybody look at you with pity and knowing that you once again failed that your worthless, failures just kill me more.

"Ana hurry up your gonna be late for the interview." My roommate Kate tries to yell but it just comes out hoarse.

I should have never let Kate guilty me into going to this stupid interview with Christian Grey apparently one of the worlds richest men. I really could careless about him or what he does but Kate used me living with her for free as a way for me to go to this stupid interview. I know Kate is going to be pissed off about what I'm wearing to the interview but i don't care this kinda like karma. I'm wearing black skinny jeans with a black Mötley Crüe long sleeve shirt with a blood red print of a triple skull with the band logo above the words SAINTS OF LOS ANGELES below, black skinny jeans and all black Chuck Taylors high tops.

"I'm going Kate I'm also taking your car." I reply to her. When I step into the living room she nearly has a heart attack.

"Ana you are not going like that go change into the Ralph Lauren business suit i have laid out for you." Kate shrieks.

"Nope too bad I'm not changing I don't have time." I tell her with a smirk knowing that I have won.

"Fine." She huffs. "My keys are on the countertop go get them and hurry up you don't have much time."

"Yes ma'am." I jokingly salute.

"Thanks again for doing this." Kate says.

"I didn't really have a choice now did I." I rely. "Get some rest and drink plenty of fluids."

I head out to Kate's white mercedes benz. I drive the 4 hours in takes to get me there. I'm so tired I'm an insomniac I have not slept in 7 days the bags under my eyes are so bad it looks like I have black eyes.

I finally it make it to GEH Enterprise and of course my anxiety comes out a full force. I'm so nervous I'm shaking.

"Can I help you?" A blonde that is impeccably dressed addresses me.

"Um yes I'm Anastasia Steele here to do the interview with Christian grey in place of Katherine Kavanagh ." I tell the receptionist who looks at me with disdain.

"Here you are go to the 16th floor." she tells me as she hands me a visitor pass. I don't even know why I need one I clearly do not fit in. As I make my way to the 16th floor I get nervous as the seconds pass. When I get to the 16th floor I am greeted by another impeccably dressed blonde who offers me a drink in which I decline. I'm starting to wish I listened to Kate about the business suit she laid out for me.

A good looking African American man with dreads comes out of what I presume is Mr. Grey's office.

"Ladies." He says on his way out and gives me a wink. I instantly blush.

"Ms. Steele, Mr. Grey will see you now." Says another blonde. Jeez this guy definitely has a thing for blondes. I get up and hope for the best.

My hands are so slippery that it takes me a few tries to open the door which gives me more anxiety. The office is huge with a white leather couch to the left of the huge black desk. Christian Grey was sitting in a office chair looking out a huge window that looked over Seattle. It is a stunning view.

"Miss Kavanagh." Mr. Grey acknowledges me. He turns around and holy hell he is gorgeous he looks like a greek god. He's young about early thirties or late twenties and very, very attractive. Mr. Grey has unruly dark copper hair and intense beautiful grey eyes and he has chiseled features.

"Um, actually Miss Kavanagh is sick with flu she couldn't make it so she send me instead." I nervously tell him.

"And you are?" He asks me with a hint of a smirk.

"Anastasia Steele. I have a few questions for you." I tell him in a monotone voice.

"I though you might. Sit down." He says and I think I can see a ghost of a smile on his face. Thank god I only have anxiety and not social anxiety or else I would already most likely fainted by now. I sit down in the chair in front of his desk and take out my iPhone 5s and press the recording app. Kate told me to it because she accidentally sat on her old recorder.

"Do you mind if I record your answers?

"No I don't mind." Good I think to myself cause I am not writing down his answers. I pull out the papers that have the questions written on that Kate gave me early today from my back jean pocket and I also take out a really tiny pencil thats the size of my middle finger out of my other jean pocket.

"You're very young to have amassed such an empire. To what do you owe your success?" I voice the questions. He answer but I'm not paying any attention. I make myself look like I'm writing down the answers he saying but in reality I'm just drawing a very detailed feather on the paper. I go through the questions on the list not paying attention and hoping my phone recorder gets it all.

Halfway through the interview someone knocks on the door and comes in.

"Sorry to interrupt little brother but here are your car keys thanks again for letting me use them." Elliot comes in through the door looking like his normal del worn out jeans and a tight white shirt and his trademark work boots. He has been dating Kate for 3 months and seem in love with each other they can't seem to take there hand off each other. I had no idea the Christian Grey and Elliot were brothers apparently Kate forgot to tell me that, oh well I don't care.

"Hey Ana hows it going? Hows Kate?" Elliott greets me and kisses my cheek.

"Hi. I'm fine and Kate is sick with the flu you should go and nurse her back to health." I tell him with a wink.

"Definitely Doctor Elliot to the rescue." Elliot laughs with me joining in.

"Can you give me a ride to Portland? My car is currently having her rim changed and getting a paint job." Elliot explains.

"Its fine with me just sit down and wait a couple of minutes so I could finish this interview for Kate." I tell him. Already wanting to get the hell out of here I'm so bored.

"We are gonna have lots fun were gonna sing road songs and stop by and get fast food." Elliot jokes and goes to sit down on the white leather coach. I resume asking questions and drawing the feather which looks pretty much complete I'm really satisfied with it. I finally reach the last question.

"Mr. Grey are you gay?" Damn you Kate thats a disrespectful question and I'm mortified. Elliot is laughing uncontrollably in the background.

"No Miss Steele I am not gay." Mr. Grey says looking very angry. Thank god that at that moment another blonde knocks on the door and tells Mr. Grey that he has a meeting in 5 minutes.

"Cancel it Andrea." He says without looking away from me. Andrea looks dumfounded and Elliot is still laughing. Andrea steps out and closes the door while still looking very surprised.

"Sorry about that Mr. Grey I didn't make these questions Miss Kavanagh did. Thank you very much for the interview Miss Kavanagh greatly appreciates I'll be on my way now." I tell him while getting up from the chair and saving the recorded conversation to my iPhone. I pick up the papers and my iPhone and start my way to the door.

"I'll walk you out." Mr. Grey stands fem his chair.

"No its okay I got it. Thanks again. Come on Elliot your driving." I say as I walk towards Elliot and hand him the keys.

"See ya tomorrow little bro." Elliot hand shakes Christian. Elliot and I make our way out of GEH Enterprise and into Kate's Mercedes Benz.

After 4 hours of goofing around and stopping by and getting food. We finally make it to Kate and I's apartment. As soon as Kate sees Elliot she run to the room to probably make herself look less like shit. When Kate comes back out she looks better and less sick.

"I'm feeling so much better. I bet we could go to dinner for Valentines Day tomorrow." Kate tells Elliot.

"I hope we can I have already made reservations and everything. We also have to go to the Valentines Day party my parents are hosting. Ana you wanna come with us?

"Thanks Elliot but the answer is no I don't do parties."

"Come on Ana you have to go." Kate whines and Elliot agrees.

"Not gonna happen I am not going. End of story." I sternly tell them both.

"Now I'm going to bed I'm tired Kate I already sent you the recording to your phone have fun writing it. Good night you too." I spent the whole night awake for the 8th night already. The longest I've gone was 11 days without sleeping. I hate insomnia I'm constantly tired and sleeping pills don't work for me anymore I sleep when my body shuts down and I faint.

Its 5:30 in the morning and I decide to get something to eat. I go to the kitchen and grab some trix yogurt and a granola bar. Elliot and Kate are probably sleeping right now so I decide to take a shower and watch the Game of Thrones. I have on a pair of sweat pants and a really tight tank top. When Kate and Elliot decide to come out of the bedroom it already around noon there both showered and smiling at each other.

"Good afternoon. How are you feeling Kate?"

"I'm 100% better now and I'm ready to party. Its Valentines Day!" Kate shouts.

"Good to see you acting normal again Kate. What are you guys gonna do today?" I ask them not really caring. I paused Games of Thrones and pretend to care on what there saying.

"Oh Ana where gonna go to an early dinner and then were going to Elliot's parents Valentines Day party. You need to come with us please Ana."

"Sorry Kate but no."

Kate and Elliot leave to go somewhere I don't remember where they said there were gonna go. I unpause the Game of Thrones and resume watching.

Hours pass and I'm so engross in watching the Game of Thrones that I don't notice Kate and Elliot come in until they came out of the room looking dressed to go to the party. I look at the time and it is already 7:00. I've been having such a good time watching Game of Thrones I didn't even notice I seriously love this show everyone needs to fucking watch it.

"Wow you guys look great." I tell them. Elliot has on a black suit with a red tie and Kate is wearing a wonderful floor length sweetheart red chiffon slit evening dress.

"Thanks you should really come with us." Kate says. As I was gonna answer someone starts knocking on the door. Elliot goes to answer it.

"Hey little bro." Elliot says letting Christian in. Wow. Just wow Christian looks good in the three piece grey suit.

"Hi Mr. grey." Kate says and goes to shake his hand.

"Miss Kavanagh." Christian replies.

"Enough with the formalities." Elliot says annoyed.

"Christian Grey." I say looking at him and nodding my head.

"Anastasia."

"Shit I forgot Kate come in the room with me I have a surprise for you." Elliot tells her looking at with a shit eating grin. Fuck they left me with Christian.

"You can sit down if you want you know." I tell him. Christian sits down and it feels so awkward. It gets worse when in the Game of thrones is in the part where there is a sex scene going on so the room sounds like a porno.

"What the hell are you watching." Christian says looking at me.

"I swear its not porn." I immediately get defensive. Christian chuckles and I can't help but notice that he has a nice smile.

"Omg Ana look what Elliot got me." Kate come running to me with her hand out. On her wrist is a beautiful diamond bracelet with an actual heart on it. Bless her she came at a perfect moment things were getting really awkward.

"Its beautiful Kate. Elliot I didn't know you has good taste." I tease him. Elliot starts laughing and teasing me back.

"Ana I have with me Bring me the Horizon tickets me." Kate says showing me the ticket. I start screaming and hugging her.

"Thank you so much I seriously love you right now." I tell her.

"Theres a but to this. In order to get this ticket you have to come with us to the Valentines Day party."

Kate says.

"Ugh fine I'll go but I'm not wearing a dress or anything."

"I get to the room and put on my Bring me the Horizon crop top and I put on my black shorts with my white converse. My tattoos are showing but I could care less. I have a tattoo of a flower on my calf, the one on my stomach is of a mask, on my collar bone it say redemption, on my other side of the stomach is the sempiternal sign. I have more but there not noticeable. I go out to the living room.

"Okay lets go." I say. All three of them have there jaw to the ground and are looking at me in shock.

"Hell no go change!" Kate recovers quickly and starts screaming at me.

"No."

"Fine lets just go." Kate relents.

We go outside into the limo that Christian brought with him to pick up Kate and Elliot. 'Here goes nothing' I think to myself I already regretting going.

**Disclaimer: All the character belong to E.L James. Bring me the Horizon is an actual rock band. Game of Thrones is the best show ever everyone should watch it. I hope you enjoy. Should I continue? R&R Have a beautiful pinterest is imdeathsnextchoice the board is fighting-for-death.**


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